Jus to drop in a few lines..

Shouldnt be writing this at this time..should be setting my exam paper.:P Anyway two days have passed since I return back to school. The workload is getting heavier by the day, the working hours are long. But my classes are well behaved and the school is pretty firm on discipline. Like many that knows me, I dun really like to talk about work after office hours which explains why I seldom talk about teaching in my blog.

Hope to get myself back into the flow like when i was doing contract and the mind will jus condition myself back into efficient working mode.. still quite lethargic at times. Mind keep zooming back to the warm turquiose ocean and the idyllic holidays.

almost lost my voice today, too many double periods at one go..speaking on the same topic. Was so tempted to get away from it all that I called AJ to arrange for an evening flight. But alas the instructor has went home..so couldnt breathe the thinner air of the atmosphere.

Alright thats all for now.

Watched the movie "windstruck"

Went wakeboarding in the afternoon with my school. It was a short introduction course. Didnt get to actually surfed on the water for more than 5 seconds. Because the whole time, we kept felling back down into the water once the boat gets up to speed. So most of the two hours that I have got were spent mainly on the speedboat or floating in the middle of the sea waiting for the boat to throw the line back to me. Nevertheless, it was tiring.

Got to know some new colleagues but it was quite scary as one do not really know how to throd yet.

After the wakeboarding session, drove down to maxwell to pickup WH and ZH for dinner and to view the Korean movie, Windstruck, also known as My Sassy Gal Part 2. Had dinner, and coffee at Ya kun at tiong bahru plaza. After that fatigue set in, WH and me decicde to go back to the van to take a short nap before the movie. JS came down at about 9pm and we into the theater.

The movie is hilarious but got a little "unrealistic" in the ending part. I love My Sassy Gal and this though a different story, had some similar traits. The female lead was of course, awesome.....:P and kept us guys really interested in the movie. Heehee for me, it doesnt matter even if the story is crappy, as long as she is in it. Its worth watching. LOL

The movie in my opinion is good, I always like romance comedies, and the cinematography was very good for an Asian film. The story did struck a chord in my heart as it is jus warm and sweet. It also makes me wanna find a cop girlfriend. Always have a little liking for ladies who ride bikes, blackbelt taekwando and other less girly traits in a girl. So a police officer girlfriend. Interesting!!! hahaha. And of course, the lead is so gorgoeous!!!!

For the benefit of guys reading this blog..I am posting her picture here. :P


Jeon Ji Hyun

What is wrong? What is right?

Was super late when I met WH and Viv jus now at tampinese mall. The traffic and parking there suck big time. Had to park almost 1 km away from the mall, because I dun wish to get stuck in the jam and waste more time...Parked at Tampinese park.

WH and I wanted to watch the korean movie "windstruck". But when I heard that Viv was sick and wanted to go home alone so that the WH and me can carry on watching the movie. I decided to skip the movie altogether and brought them to cafe cartel for dessert while I have my dinner.Nice folks the two of them, always asking me to join them, and always making sure that I am having fun, sometimes to the extent that their private time is often compromised.

Talk to them quite a bit tonight, regarding school, the dive trip, viv's impending stewardess interview, and finally about JM and her happnenings and how I felt. Apparently, JM had gone together with someone else and now it is her turn to experience being walked out on. Of course, she is now down in her dumps and had being drinking heavily.

This is not a case of tit for tat, and I'm not gloating. Jus that I do not have in myself any compassion or willingness to help her up.And I think she shouldnt be expecting any help either from me. I cant and wont do it. What more can you expect, if you were to fall in love with a guy who could potentially be a "player", given his frequent appearances at velvet and smooth operator styles. Commitment? Everlasting love?
And when she threw it all away and left me in the darkest pit, did she ever pondered about how I would feel?

Well, enough said. The bus has left and she is definitely not on it.

Viv was rather shocked when she heard about it, given that both WH and her once thought that JM was the one who could finally brought stability and warmth into my life. JM had looked so decent and sweet the last time they saw her. Now all that had crumbled beyond any recognition.

Of course, as much as I yearn for a break from floating around, being put into holding patterns and all. I have to accept my lot, nothing will change in the short run, I will have to contd living the same flippant life which i am having. Fun? yeah it can be, but I am tired ....

Taking a rest before the drive..

Had jus returned from school, after a few meetings and playing pool with a HOD and the P. Yep the school despite being old, has a pool table and quite a few recreational items. Its brand new, and the felt is spotless. Am tired cos rush work till 2 am in the morning last night.

Now jus seating down in front of the PC chilling out, before meeting WH and gf viv for dinner. Gonna be a long drive to Tampiness later. Talk to JS jus now, he had passed his exams will be soon on his way for a year stint in Perth. AJ had messaged from God knows which part of the world he is in, and said we should meet up for a last hangout before JS fly off. Guess the three pilots will have to part for a while, as JS goes for his training. Its difficult for outsiders to understand that why we flyboys tend to bond together. Perharps in a way, we see things alittle different from other people. Not that we are elite or something, jus that perharps others will not be able to understand the beauty of flight, the stresses of flying, and the thrill of holding some much raw power in our hands. For me, the feeling can sometimes be lonely as well because few friends or family understand why my first love has always been flying.

Still listening to the wind blow blow blow song, really sounds good, the good memories of Taiwan lingered on..

The wind blows blows and blows.

At least that is the direct translation for the song title. haha.
Lot of things to do today, am tired already. Will write more tomorrow.. Am really glad that a difficult situation has been resolved. :)

Downloaded a song by the new guy called Ocean, my student was asking me for the cd. It sounds really good. Too bad cant be uploaded down here.The song reminded me of the many evenings I had in Taiwan on our trusty army jeeps with WH and all stationed out in the open countryside. The wind was really cold...and melancholic. I was thinking alot then, after all during those days in 1998. I wasnt too far away from the sadness of seeing YX destroyed herself.But that was the past...



北半球有欧得洋OCEAN

咻咻咻


作词:Benny.C　作曲:方文良　编曲:方文良+梁介洋

摄氏三十五度　我不再回顾 想你在他的怀里
应该幸福 我该祝福　冷得我想哭　不能哭

傻到什么程度　我心里有数 最后一口啤酒无所谓
酸或苦 能笑着送你走　就满足　很满足

看着天上乌云　满满　排山倒海 这夏季第一场雨
迎面而来 当结局不能改　我又何必躲开
没什么值得大惊小怪　就淋个痛快

听风　咻-咻-咻-嘲笑我的爱 就像感情的备胎
只在旁边喝采
你别问why why why 我一直都在
你有很好的未来　再痛我也说all right

当风　咻-咻-咻-送走我的爱 街边路灯一整排
低着头为谁默哀

是天在 cry cry cry 我的笑还在
有天他不能依赖　你怀念我外套口袋
告诉我　我随时 stand by

Missed tioman, missed the beach, missed my bed,

Work, work and work, so much work. Missed the diving trip already, missed the idyllic days before. Missed flying on the Cessna. Missed NIE, Missed my sleep...

Holidays dun end, can?...

Something to ponder about...

Met up with WH and SH yesterday, havent seen my army buddies SH for quite a while. SH asked me, what wrong with being single. Its quiet but it can be a form of peace as well. I guess he was right. Sometimes

Subsequently, E send me an article which made ponder as well. People come and go out in our lives for a purpose. Just remember they exist only as a season, and may or may not be there permanently. It reminds me to picture their loss as not something to grief for but rather to consume and be glad of their existence or once existence. Can I ever do that I wonder.

I have finally let JM go away in my heart. Not because I was willing to accept that she was a season that i have to let go. But mainly because I could see no future with her. Her constant lies and inconsistent behaviour had exhausted me greatly. I had to let her go, for I no longer feel anything...despite the fact that she seems to be hinting that she may be seeing someone on her blog. At first glance, i was worried I will be affected by her words. But then, i felt a tinge of anger, and then nothing. I felt no loss or pain. Jus nothing.


Was driving largely in the east area today, went to the airport after school to sent a fren off to NZ with AJ. Of course, the east area have brought back some memories, but i wasnt as affected as i was before. Time had indeed washed the wounds away.

What lies ahead? Probably a quiet life for the rest of this year...maybe.

Time to remove JM's link

Added JM blog link recently when she sent me the web address, but think its time now to let it go. So I had removed it.

Am super sunburnt!!! and slightly deaf,,,,

Jus came back from the diving trip from Tioman, it has been a challenging trip and I am glad I managed to conquer it and enjoyed it quite well.

It was a trying start because I was really quite apprehensive about diving and I'm not really sure I have got wat it takes. So friday evening was a time when frens who have dived called and talk to me to reassure that all will be fine. Besides a situation has developed prior to the trip, and it was quite trying for me to manage it.

I was glad that I met my room mates Jacki, Don, Daniel, Caroline. Fun bunch of people to stay with. And believe it or not, they are my dive instructor, divemasters. It was really noisy at night, crapping nonsense and laughing all through the night.

Jacki (my dive instrustor)jokes incessantly and non stop especially in the room. We had a whale of a time when a giant spider appeared in the bathroom. It was a big commotion and i can say, all of us were afraid of it. Only Jacki was crazy enough and went in to kill it with his bright green slippers. And after that he ran out(apparently afraid as well), and i got to flush away the dead spider before anyone could use the bathroom.

Diving wise, I keep thinking what have I got myself in? But somehow I managed to clear all the tests. It wasnt easy, as I took a long long time to learn swimming so diving is a BIG CHALLENGE. So I was quite afraid of diving deep under. It was a good feeling to know you are learning something and trying to conquer your fear. The diving crew (Jacki and the rest)was superb and managed to get me out of trouble quite a few times...

Finishing the tests, came the real leisure dives, letting my guard down was wrong. It was quite a handful, had to keep myself safe and breathing, had to keep an eye on XT (my diving buddy), Had to make sure I dun touch or step on the wrong things, and my nightmare...my air ran out quite quickly. My breathing and buoyancy control was simply not there yet.

I did two leisure dives, the last one, i got vertigo, and ascended prematurely. It was scary as i could have been seriously injuired. Luckily Jacki and Don caught me in time, and I escaped with only a headache, A slight nosebleed and a slightly blocked ear drum...

I definitely need more experience before I can find my "dive legs" and be confident in the water. But I honestly enjoyed the trip despite of the scariness level. In much due to the fact that i know, I am in the good and capable hands of the instructors.

Well, on a lighter note, the company was great, and the antics from my room mates were endless. Three grown men sharing one twin bed, and four guys bathing at the same time due to a rush to get to the return ferry. It was really crazy, And it felt as if I was back in the infantry at our bunks, talking crap and "saboing" each other.

Got reminded of how tall XT is, when Jacki, Daniel and me was walking behind her and Sandfly after supper in the nearby prata joint. I jus pointed out that XT was so much taller than us, the three guys. Daniel gave a shrug and a resigned look. Jacki the ever spontanoeus, jus said confidently, it's not we that are short, it's she that is too tall." heehee, that really saved the male ego...

I have attained the objective of my dive, to regain my self confidence after all the emotional troubles in the past months.It had really help me in my recuperation.Am suprised to know that both Don and Jacki were also very much in emotional trouble before. And in terms of perspective towards relationships, I do agree with them. It is really difficult nowadays for guys to really commit and trust a gal. Too many changes, and greater equality have resulted in very complex relationships. I am honestly quite afraid to go into anything emotional now. Will still take me alot of time for me to recurperate and be brave enough to love another person again.

Anyway, haha now I am Air, Land and Sea capable... way to go!

Last Thing on my Mind

Oops wrong song earlier...this is the correct one


Four o’clock in the morning
My mind’s filled with a thousand thoughts of you
How you left me without a warning
But looking back I’m sure you tried to talk it through

Now I say it so clearly
We have been together but living separate lives

So, I wanna tell you I’m sorry
Baby, I can’t find the words
But, if I could
Than you know I would, yeahhhhhh

No, I won’t let go
No why we can be
I will watch my life crashing down on me
As I had it all right there before my eyes, yeahhhh
Girl I’m sorry now you were the last thing on my mind

You carried me like a river
How far we have come still surprises me

Now, I look in the mirror (look in the mirror)
Staring back is a man I used to be with you
How I longed for you

No, I won’t let go
No why we can be
I will watch my life crashing down on me
As I had it all right there before my eyes, yeahhhh
Girl I’m sorry now you were the last thing on my mind

Girl I’m sorry I was wrong
Couldn’t be there, should have been so strong
So, I’m sorry

Ohhhhhhh
No, I won’t let go
No why we can be
I will watch my life crashing down on me
As I had it all right there before my eyes, yeahhhh
Girl I’m sorry now you were the last thing on my mind (on my mind)

I will watch my life crashing down on me
As I had it all right there before my eyes, yeahhhh
Girl I’m sorry now you were the last thing on my mind
On my mind (on my mind)

To the Stars!!!!

The past two days have been spent mainly on the pool session for the dive. The techniques that is needed are a little tricky but managed to get through it. Diving is sure claustrophobic and havent really being feeling the fun side of it yet. As JS says, it will get better. Freedom wise I think I would prefer the freedom of floating in mid air, than in mid water. The pressure is quite intimidating and the abscence of air is quite daunting. I remember I enjoyed snorkelling alot, I hope I will enjoy this as I goes to tioman.

Met up with AJ after the first pool session for an ultra late dinner, cos is after midnight. Chatted quite a bit on his snorkelling stories at Maldives haha. He rather afraid of water actually.LOL. Went to his place after that to view his mountaineering trip photos. Saw a funny contraption on his desk, it was a HF radio. He turned it on and to my surprise that contraption can receive and transmit signals all the way to the eastern coast of US. We messed around with it and managed to receive and tried talking to people with their HF sets in Greece, India and some other faraway place. It was good fun to know that the u are talking real time to people halfway across the globe without paying IDD bills. The antenna was a long fishing rod hanging out of his window, it stands sentinel amongst the stars in the clear sky blasting signals up to the ionoshpere. Looking at it, I remembered my childhood dreams of space, planets and stars. I smiled like a child that night. AJ although now an airline pilot, have a crazy dream too, to join NASA and be an astronaut. Haha...we are overaged kids.

Good driving and flying music?

ENRIQUE - SAD EYES


Stumbled onto this song at the cody's music site. A good "cruising" song for those long stretches of highway or airways on a warm lazy afternoon. Yeah, thats life!!!

Pre diving time..

Waiting for the my first dive session, filled with anxiety and apprehension. Whats it gonna be like? difficult or smooth?It is one of those moments where you wonder what have I gotten myself into. I could stay safe and dry by not taking such a course, but thats me. Always finding myself heading into some sort of trouble before and grumbling about it. But at the same time I knew that by doing this, I will always enjoy the end result of it all.

Be it, embarking on an army exercise in a foreign land, leaping away from a rappeling tower (this two: "bo bian..."), starting up an aircraft, or embarking on a trek through thick forest complete with river crossings. And now eh..diving.. always grumbling at first, and then looking back with a smile.

I am a SEDANTARY person by nature. But life twist and turns in such a way, that I dont live as much a sedantary life as my instincts would like. Be it my physiscal life or emotional life.

Jus rambling some rubbish..haha.

Read XT blog jus now, do not really know wat has been going on, jus knew it has not being smooth sailing for her. She has been rather quiet lately. Let's hope she walks into the sunshine soon with the warmth from her "Daddy" protecting her. "Yes Sir, cover her at all times and keep her out of serious trouble." Watever it is, there's always a willing listening ear over here.

As for myself, I was quite surprised that JSM told me how fast I have managed to pick myself up after JM episode. I dun feel it is fast, in fact I felt I have being wimpy (Prari style in "Troy") all this while. Compartmentalising does helps, and life goes on its way. After a while, with my life being occupied with learning new things, having fun, and many other stuff. The nights can still be overwhelmingly silent but its more bearable now.

Well, thats all for now. More later..

Day of Being There

It was a day that started late cos watched I soccer last night. Didnt reach home till five plus last night. So woke up at 12 today with KT messaging me what I am doing today. Thought about it a little, then started asking people out for lunch. JSM replied and we met for lunch. Had a good lunch at westmall and coffee after that. Talked about lots of stuff. I was scheduled for a dinner with JS, RY, CH in the evening so was about to leave when, JSM received some bad news over her mobile. Some things had happened and it was the kind of situation whereby one jus cant leave her alone. After that, offered to bring her along for dinner.

Dinner was very bad, CH and RY arrived late and was totally guiltless about it. And they jus talk among themselves and claimed they were tired and left prematurely as well. Me and JS was like, what the...? Anyway after they left, the three of us went for a walk and ended up eating beancurd st Selegie. Of course, we two guys did talked about flying especially now that I started flying circuits yesterday. Lots of notes to exchange between the two of us. Was quite worried she will get bored. Luckily, JSM didnt get bored and started asking about lots of stuff on planes as well. She came up with her flying chair business idea LOL..

Anyway am glad that I am able to do my part today by being there for her. If not, I dunno whats gonna happened. Wish her well...

Terminal Area Forecast (TAF) for Tomorrow

Original TAF code
2004/06/13 16:00
WSSS 131600Z 131818 18008KT 9999 SCT020
BECMG 0003 FEW018CB PROB30
TEMPO 0911 4500 SHRA FEW012CB BKN015

Decoded TAF forecast for WSSS
Issue date/time: 13 June 2004, 16:00 UTC (14 June 2004, 00:00 SGT)
Valid date/time: 13 June, 18:00 UTC to 14 June, 18:00 UTC
(14 June, 02:00 SGT to 15 June, 02:00 SGT)

Forecast:
Wind from 180° at 8 kts (15 km/h)
Visibility 10 km (6 sm) or greater
Scattered clouds at 2000 ft

Becoming from 00:00 UTC (08:00 SGT) to 03:00 UTC (11:00 SGT):
Few clouds at 1800 ft, cumulonimbus

30% probability: Temporary from 09:00 UTC (17:00 SGT) to 11:00 UTC (19:00 SGT):
Visibility 4500 m (2.8 sm) in rain showers
Few clouds at 1200 ft, cumulonimbus
Broken ceiling at 1500 ft

All day long...

It has been a long night, CL, JW, SM and others came over to my place to watch soccer after they failed to set up the cable tv at CL's place. By the time they came over to my place it was already 230 am in the morning. They watched soccer while I jus surf net and edited my blog little. After that I concussed and woke up to teach my neighbour maths and physics. It has been a while since I last taught her, was a bit rusty in my arithmetic but it is always fulfilling to teach her as its informal and i can concentrate strictly on teaching and not worry about admin or classroom management. It was this feeling that got me into teaching in the first place.

After teaching, I packed my room and threw out alot of stuff, and I mean really alot. Got quite a few empty shelves now:P Out it went together with lots of memories. Anyway those memories are not very healthy to hold on to.

Had my lunch and then tempt JS into another round of game playing at Paradiz. We lost big time to the computers this time. Made lots of mistakes, mistook the enemy, loopholes in the defense, running out of resources etc. This time we really got thrashed!!

After that it was dinner at Killiney, and a good chat with him after that. Well, the talk about babes were interesting enough haha:P Its been a quite a while since we have had time to really talk. Well, jus two guys talking about alot of stuff. He will be leaving soon for a year to Australia for his flight training so wont have much chance like this for a long time to come. After his training, he will be like AJ, flying all round the globe.

Sometimes I wish i were in their shoes, sometimes I dun cos, being an airline pilot means you have to endure long periods of time (especially festivals and public holidays)alone and away from home. The flying is attractive, landing at exotic places, learning different cultures. Techincally the world is your play ground. However, it also means u will have to neglect your family life. Being a teacher on the other hand, is safe and relatively homely. It is fufilling if teachers can concentrate on teaching, real teaching. But I truly cant stand the admin and other non teaching duties that are so burdensome. Wats about mandatory rest? Pilots have it. Teachers dun. Both professions need it.

Anyway, now I jus have to make do with flying my little Cessna, at homefield Seletar. No big turbine engines and computerised cockpits or in flight service. But its wonderful to be able to feel the sensation of cold air at altitude, floating in the open space, and a wonderful view of everything.

Flying tomorrow..haha...

Music for the site!!

After months of silence, finally music returns...hahaha

Had a good evening of Generals Game Playing

Went down to Paradiz after dinner and met up with SJ and JS for our long awaited practice with Command and Conquer Generals. Yeah we thrash the PC up good... The computer didnt stand a chance even with a match of three human players against four computer players. I finally learned how to grow and managed lots of troops and vehicles. Too bad our comps got problems, if not we could have had a match with a few working adults there also playing the same game.

JS is now wearing glasses, he look so alien in them, almost like 5 years older?!! LOL. Appararently his navigation papers took the better of his eyesight. Now he got to wear glasses even to fly, mandatory by law now.

After our good game, SJ drove out in his car. As he had jus passed his license. He was really stressed during the drive to Bt timah for supper. Reminds me when I first started out driving haha. Clutching the wheel so hard, and keeping very very quiet. Eventually I had to drive myself home using his car, this makes it the second time I drove a automatic sedan car. He was too stressed out to drive in the unfamilar roads to my home. JS drove the car back after I got off. Well will take some time for SJ to feel at ease behind the wheel, after that drivng will be a breeze.

Thought a little about JY taking her first trip overseas today to a far off place and also her first time on a plane. Am a little worried for her. For I knew she needs quite a lot of handholding when overseas, almost like a child. I remember how dependent she was when i brought her to Malaysia last year. It was super stressful for me, because u really have to take care of her. It was also kinda fun cos u have to be like Daddy as well in a way. Really prepare everything for her. But anyway, now its not really my concern anymore.

Well, tioman trip is drawing closer, looking forward to it.Yeah!!

Updated some links

Have updated some new links to my Blog. Jus finished watching Harry Potter with GD, WL and JN, I must say it fell a little short of my expectation. I sorta fell asleep in the show during the last part of the movie. Feeling a bit sickly today, no idea why. Later will go play Generals with JS and SJ. That guy has just being released from "prison". haha

Flight is cancelled

Well, is my flight instructor turn to be down with flu this time. Sigh so flight is cancelled. The uncertainty of aviation sigh....

Weather for tomorrow.

Original TAF code
2004/06/10 16:30

Weather for Changi Airport (WSSS)

WSSS 101630Z 101818 20010KT 9999 FEW018CB SCT020
TEMPO 0206 2500 TSRA SCT012CB BKN015

Decoded TAF forecast for WSSS
Issue date/time: 10 June 2004, 16:30 UTC (11 June 2004, 00:30 SGT)
Valid date/time: 10 June, 18:00 UTC to 11 June, 18:00 UTC
(11 June, 02:00 SGT to 12 June, 02:00 SGT)

Forecast:
Wind from 200° at 10 kts (19 km/h)
Visibility 10 km (6 sm) or greater
Few clouds at 1800 ft, cumulonimbus
Scattered clouds at 2000 ft

Temporary from 02:00 UTC (10:00 SGT) to 06:00 UTC (14:00 SGT):

Temporary from 25:00 UTC (09:00 SGT) to 00:00 UTC (08:00 SGT)
Thunderstorms rain, scattered clouds at 1200 ft, cumulonimbus
Broken ceiling at 1500 ft

Part of my preflighting for tomorrow's training flight. Hopefully, it is not accurate for tomorrow as I will be taking off at 1230 hrs (SGT). We leave it to the will of the weather then.Thats all for now, will go for a run in the morning, and then more preflight stuff to prepare. Wanna dance well in the sky tomorrow afternoon.

Compartmentalising

Read in a book on how a fighter pilot had to handle an impending divorce when fighting a war in Kosovo. It was very trying on him and usually he can asked to ground himself. But instead he adopted a technique of "compartmentalising", which helps him to shut off that problem and focus on more important matters at hand.He continued flying and fighting. His mood of course swings up and down when he is not flying or working. It worked and he survived the war. I will have to use this method in times like this, to let me concentrate on what I should be doing. Compartmentalise!! Have to fly tomorrow!! I dun wanna cancelled my training flight jus because of some emotional disturbances.

My entry is gone!!!

Wrote a long entry jus now. The website suddenly gave an error and the entry is gone!!!grrr.....

So people do rememembr to save your stuff constantly when u write.Now dog tired, gonna sleep.Frustrated!!!Hmmph.

My First cross country drive yesterday!!!

Yep went to Malaysia with AJ and his friends SB and ML on Sunday. We rented a Hertz car, a Ford Laser from Changi Airport and went into Malaysia before dawn broke. Having never drove in Malaysia before, I was apprehensive about driving. So my idea was to let AJ drive the whole way, safer I guess.

After breakfast in a small town. We first went to Kota Tinggi waterfalls, the place was far too commercialised, wasnt as pretty as it can be. I still prefer the waterfall that I visited in Sauri Buri Thailand last november. Yep got wet, very wet yesterday, the two guys were crazy fellows haha...they really got crazy when they saw the waterfall. Stepped on ML foot when we were climbing into the cave beind the water fall. It must have really hurt, but she didnt complain, felt really bad about it.

After the crazy fiasco and the waterfall, we headed to Malacca. I was settling down on the backseat reading the diving theory book. When AJ stopped the car and walked out of the driver's seat and said, "Vincent, you have control." (Flight instructor style). And I had control.

Having never drove a sedan car since I passed my driving test. I felt really strange at the controls. The car was automatic very different from manual Mr Toyota. The response of the car's engine was slower but the cruising speed was much much higher. The slow pickup proved to be rather dangerous when doing overtaking on a two lane-two way road. Yep, the car seems to take forever to accelerate as an opposite traffic heads towards you.whew!!

Well on the small country roads, it was pretty exciting. When we reached the highway, I had another problem, boredom and sleepiness. Malacca was still a good 200 km away, and automatic cars are really no brainer cars to drive...

Well one of the thrills, haha. We took the car up to the rotation (takeoff) speed of the Cessna.shhh....:P Well that really made the engine roar.LOL I drove on and realise my two hands are tanned from the sun that shines through the windshield.

We eventually reached Malacca and had both lunch and dinner there, Satay for lunch and sumptous Nonya food for dinner. And realise there that ML was actually peranakan in origin. it was a very short stay in Malacca and I realise there have been quite alot of changes since I last went there.

After dinner, we sent ML to her home and went on our way back to Singapore. AJ got his wish, we finally got lost. But eventually we found the way back to the NS highway.

On the highway, the Zzz monster attacked again. This time AJ was the victim. It was getting dark and we were tired. AJ kept shaking his head and slapping himself to stay awake. It was pretty scary as I was also falling asleep. So we tried talking, singing and shouting. Finally, AJ began chanting his aircraft emergencies checks as he drives. I also tried asking him to hold his breath for 1 min, the air deprivation will caused adrenalin to rush to the brain and thus make him awake. Yep it worked, something that I picked up from teaching my sec two classws.

Eventually we got back to Singpore on time, and he rushed off to return the car to the airport.SB and I took a cab home.

The trip was tiring but much fun as the driving on the country roads really gave us a feeling of nature and freedom. Well, its not the destination that matter, but the journey. Haha wat a cliche.

Blackhawk Down

Jus finished watching Blackhawk Down, reminded me of the times when I was in the infantry serving in a foreign land with different environment and conditions. The hot and uncomfortable conditions, the foreign climate and culture. The danger and the uncertainty. The "Do This(important) first and Sort that out" later atitiude that I was so effective in using then. Man should start using that again...LOL

"See you are thinking. Don't. Because Sergeant you cant control who get hits or who doesn't. Who falls out of a chopper or why. It aint up to you. Its just war. Should have, could have, don't matter. You get plenty of time to think about that later. Believe me. Sergeant you got your men this far. You did right today. You need to start thinking about getting this men out of here. Well? Shall we?"

Delta 1st Sergeant Norm "Hoot" Gibson (Eric Bana: Hector in Troy) to Ranger Staff Sergeant Matt Eversmann (Josh Hartnett)

Yeah thats the atitiude, concentrate on the important stuff first, not just in war, many times in life, this will be useful.

叶子 - 阿桑

A sad song that frequently plays when I was driving. One of the songs that I avoided as when things jus came to an end. Tonight, it played in my head while cruising along the quiet roads.

叶子
曲：陈晓娟 | 词：陈晓娟 | 编：
叶子 是不会飞翔的翅膀
翅膀 是落在天上的叶子
天堂 原来应该不是妄想
只是我早已经遗忘
当初怎么开始飞翔

孤单 是一个人的狂欢
狂欢 是一群人的孤单
爱情 原来的开始是陪伴
但我也渐渐地遗忘
当时是怎样有人陪伴

我一个人吃饭 旅行 (到处)走走停停
也一个人看书 弹琴 自己对话谈心
只是心又飘到了哪里
就连自己看也看不清
我想我不仅仅是失去你

A little midnight drive with only me and Mr Toyota

Had coffee with Amos earlier at Alif's, again we talk about lots of stuff, and he asked once again. Am I ready to trust in HIM again? I still dont have a definite answer.Still fearful of trusting and being abandoned. Many people like XT and LL has taught me to see things in perspective, it has made me think much and many things made sense. More time, jus more time still needed....Amos is still as passionate towards teaching as ever. Its a real pity he is never selected by MOE, he is experienced and really skilful even without any NIE training.Compared to him I am only 1/6 a teacher as him.

After sending him back to his block, we talk a little more he went up, always a good confidante he is. I had jus spoke to JM earlier online before meeting him, my feelings was jumping all around again. But he put things in perspective especially on the lying part from her. Maybe she lies without realising it. Or maybe there are other reason why she lie. Anyway, the bottom line is I must get over her cos if you cant trust, what else can one do?

Leaving his home, I decide to take a long drive. Remembering that Dad have always suggested taking Mr Toyota to the SPC petrol station at Tuas due to the heavy discount there. I decided to find out where that place is...

Driving on from the busier roads of Bt batok..I slowly reached the quiet and almost lonesome roads of the Tuas region. Ugly as the industrial estate may look in the day, the area was really quiet and serene. I felt really comfortable there as the gigantic factories passes the van's windows by..

Driving slowly, I remembered how it was like to accompany Dad to the same estate to deliver goods to the factories and shipyard. The factories though ugly have watched me grow up from a little primary school kid staring out of the car window to finally being the driver of Dad's van. A long way indeed I had came. Of course it was also sad to see some of the factories which used to be so busy, to be lying vacant and dilapidated. In a way i was back to my childhood place.

Tonight I really felt joy in driving, really driving for the sake of its joy and not rushing to pick someone or to go anywhere. Jus cruising slowly in those familar surroundings. The radio was on 93.3, sentimental tunes played from the speakers, accomppanied by the constant "beep beep beep" from the speed warning device.Havent dared to listen to that station for quite awhile, always prefering the 98.7 whcih play less sentimental songs.

I was with Dad when he drove Mr Toyota home from the car dealer, never could have imagine that now it is one of my best friend. Slivery Grey and looking very much like a Chincilla, it has gone through with me a lot in the past months since I have gotten my license.

It has serves many duties in the past months since I started driving. First as my crew vehicle, whenever I go flying where it will park quietly next to other aircraft patiently waiting for me to return safely to the ground. It serves as a school bus to transport my naughty nephews and niece home. Serves as a faithful transport for me when JM was still around. Mr Toyota had to travel alot from northwest to southeast in those months carrying anything from flowers, cheesecakes, stationery, books etc and of course it carrys a sleepy and tired JM on the left seat. Still rememeber how she always doze off in the van especially after a long day of teaching. Finally when the break came, its serves as a sanctuary for me when I took long drives in it.

On a lighter note, it has serve as an ambulance for GL,JS and XT when they have had bandaged arms or legs. And many a times, it has also serve as a "two seater sports car" for many a lady frens.Right Vani? haha.

Tonight I drove alone, and jus me and Mr Toyota in the quiet roads of the far western end of Singapore.

In the End - Linkin Park

Jus found out more nonsense from her... Yep I being thinking again. I know I'm letting many people down when I do this. But it came over me once again. My life is full and complete even without her. Why am I feeling this way?Why?...

She tried to cut off contact from me, very unnecessary. I never harass anyone EVER! Once I disappear, tempting as it is I seldom returned. Fed up, hurt, uncertain..inside a shell of cheerfulness, playful and apparant nonchalance, thats me.

Will still fly planes, drive cars, learn to dive, go on extended treks, work, hang out with frens, be the best guy that I can be... But I am hurt even though the pain is no more.. The silence in my room is still overwhelming at times.

One of those nights I guess. Nothing that I ever did for her matter...thus the song below.

IN THE END LINKIN PARK

It starts with
One thing, I don’t know why
It doesn’t even mather how hard you try
Keep that in mind
I designed this rhyme
To explain due time
All I know
Time is a valuable thing
Watch it fly by as the pendulum swings
Watch it count down ’till the end of the day
Clock ticks life away
It’s so unreal
You didn’t look out below,
Watch the time go right out the window
Tryn’ to hold on
Didn’t even know, I wasted it all
Just to watch you go
I kept everything inside
And even though I tried
It all fell apart
What it’s meant to be
Will, eventually be,
A memory of a time,
When I tried so hard and got so far
But in the end, it doesn’t even matter...
I had to fall, to loose it all...
But in the end, it doesn’t even matter...

One thing, I don’t know why
It doesn’t even mather how hard you try
Keep that in mind
I designed this rhyme
To remind myself
How I tried so hard...
Dispite the way you were mocking me
Acting like I was part of your property
Remembering all the times you fought with me
I’m surprised it got so far
Things aren’t the way they were before
You wouldn’t even recognize me anymore
Not that you knew me back then
But it all comes back to me
In the end...

You kept everything inside
And even though I tried it all fell apart
What it meant to be, will
Eventually, be a memory of a time
When I tried so hard,
And got so far,
But in the end, it doesn’t even matter
I had to fall, to loose it all
But in the end, it doesn’t even matter

I’ve put my trust in you
Pushed as far, as I can go
For all this
There’s only one thing you should know

I’ve put my trust, in you
Pushed as far as I can go
For all this
There’s only one thing you should know...
I tried so hard,
And got so far,
But in the end, it doesn’t even matter
I had to fall, to loose it all,
But in the end, it doesn’t even matter

A day's tour in Singapore?

Had a long day yesterday, was out with PH,AM and DN to celebrate DN birthday all day. Met up early in the morning in East Coast to rollerblade. Dad took the van so had to hitch a ride with DN at novena to east coast.

Had a one hell of a time of learning how to blade, the two gals were happily blading away while DN were struggling to balance. Luckily for us two kids probbaly Primary two or also..came to show us some of the finer techniques and it helped. Eventually both of us were able to balance and move around. Had alot of falls, the most embarrasing and painful was the last fall when I was blading back to the bicycle shop. I collaspe right in front of the uncle managing the shop. That knock the wind out of me and yep my butt hurts big time.

After that I went over to DN's to shower and rest before proceeding to our sumptous dinner at JUMBO's river side.The gals went back home first to rest as well. Hung around DN's room for about three hours, his room were full of legacy from his ex gf. A photo her, a jigsaw there etc. I thought to myself at least I dun have that much legacy left behind by JM. His terrier was cute and friendly but a little scaredy...LOL.

The interval feels as if I was on one of those tours whereby u have some time to rest in the hotel room before going for some dinner and activity in the night.

Evening came we drove out out to pick PH up from her home nearby. Now I realise why it is really not very convenient for her to wait at the bottom of her apartment. Lots of old men were hanging around ogling at her and the neigbourhood jus wasnt the most decent place in Singapore.

We went for dinner at JUMBO riverside point for seafood. AM came late but was excusable as she had to purchase something impt.haha. Had crabs, garoupa, squids, scallops and other good stuff. The food and ambience was great, but the delay in serving of our food got us a little annoyed.Bought DN a book on coffee and a cheese cake for him to celebrate his birthday. And we did the candlelighting there.

After dinner we rushed down to New Asia Bar on the 71st floor of Westin. The place was posh with a wonderful view and very crowded. initally it got alittle boring as the music was terrible.. We got a few glasses of lychee martinis. After that the music sorta pick itself up and things got much better. Had a good time on the dancefloor till eh...things got a little out of hand among the other patron....

One gal probably a excutive who was apparently very drunk came along and started laughing and "bumping" into DN and me.PH and AM was away at the table when it occur. Quite frightened by the episode, we started back to the table. The crowd wasnt really right in the bar anyway, we were almost an ethnic minority on the dancefloor. Saw lots of "wolfs" in action over there. Some even tried to hit on PH.

Deciding to stay off the dancefloor we hang around around our table instead. And DN got really drunk after that.Had a good time despite the negative stuff, made me wonder if we will still have the energy to do this when we start teaching proper.

DN got alittle depressed when we were leaving the hotel lobby, think he was reminded of some stuff.It affected me a bit. Went home and started thinking as well...